Updated: 27th May 2017

25 Dirty Jokes That Are As Funny As They Are Inappropriate

There aren’t many settings in which these jokesaren’t seriously awkward, but if you have the ballsto commit to thepunchlines -you will be rewarded with some serious sniggers. Maybe the odd slap.

Go forth and be dirty…
1. How do you embarrass an archaeologist?
Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from.

2. How are women and tornadoes alike?

They both moan like hell when they come, and take the house when they leave.

3. Whats long and hard and has cum in it?

A cucumber

4.Whats the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball?

A guy will actually search for a golf ball.

5.Why does Santa Claus have such a big sack?

He only comes once a year.

6.What do you call a man who cries while he masturbates?

A tearjerker.

7. What do the Mafia and pussies have in common?

One slip of the tongue, and youre in deep sh*t.

8.What does the sign on an out-of-business brothel say?

Beat it. Were closed.

9.What do you get when you mix birth control and LSD?

A trip without kids.

10.Whats the difference between anal and oral sex?

Oral sex makes your day. Anal makes your hole weak.

11. Why do walruses love a tupperware party?

They’re always on the lookout for a tight seal

12.What do you call the useless piece of skin on a dick?

The man

13.Whats long and hard and full of semen?

A submarine.

14.Whats the difference between your wife and your job?

After five years, your job will still suck.

15.Whats the difference between your boyfriend and a condom?

Condoms have evolved: Theyre not so thick and insensitive anymore.

16.How is a girlfriend like a laxative?

They both irritate the sh*t out of you.

17.Why do vegetarians give good head?

Because theyre used to eating nuts.

18.Why did the semen cross the road?

I wore the wrong socks today.

19. How do you find a blind man in a nudist colony?

It’s not hard.

20. How do you make your girlfriend scream while having sex?

Call her and tell her.

21. What did one saggy tit say to the other saggy tit?

If we don’t get some support soon, people will think we’re nuts!

22. Why doesn’t Santa have any kids?

He only comes once a year.

23.What do a Rubix cube and a penis have in common?

The longer you play with them, the harder they get.

24. What should you do if you come across an elephant?

Apologise and wipe it off.

25. What should you do if your girlfriend starts smoking?

Slow down. And possibly use a lubricant.

Read more: http://www.hellou.co.uk/2015/11/25-dirty-jokes-that-are-really-funny-basically-69161/

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